Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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