if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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