i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize