i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
