If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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