What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You've changed since you got that strap on
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize