dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
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