Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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