bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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