Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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