I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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