I'm really into asian looking animals
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
