Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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