i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Come share oat with me in your robe
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize