Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I hate all girls vehemently.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
