Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
