btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
