I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
