had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
