You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
