i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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