her vagine was all disorganized.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
