i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize