Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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