The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
