Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
