Pants 0. Shit 1.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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