your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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