you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
