I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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