so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize