He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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