Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
