We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
