his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
