..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
