Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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