How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize