I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
