is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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