you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
