Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
