I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
