dude i'm inner monologue high
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
