You can't special order awesome
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
