I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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