Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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