Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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