Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
