stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
