You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
