'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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