I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Is it because I queefed?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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