Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
