I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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