What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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