The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
