nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
we're making bets on your personal life
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
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