'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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