He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
