Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
wanna go halves on a baby?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
