i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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