he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
so much tequila, so little girl.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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